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<description>Cheryl Stein is Manhattan divorce lawyer, New York city divorce lawyer, NYC divorce lawyer and New York County divorce lawyer</description>
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<url>https://cherylsteinesq.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/CS-36x36.jpg</url><title>Divorce Mediation Process Archives | Cheryl Stein, Esq.</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/category/divorce-mediation-process/</link>
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<item><title>Are You an Indian Giver: Understanding Gifts During Marriage</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/are-you-an-indian-giver-understanding-gifts-during-marriage/</link>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cheryl Stein]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 23 Sep 2024 15:14:52 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Collaborative Divorce]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Agreements]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce and Children]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Finance]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Mediation Process]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Financial Planning]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Separation Agreements]]></category>
<guid
isPermaLink="false">https://cherylsteinesq.com/?p=2880</guid><description><![CDATA[<p>One of the hallmarks of courtship is gift giving. Like love itself, bestowing presents goes back to the beginning of time. If you look beyond our culture and century, cultures around the world have regarded gift giving as a prominent facet of marriage since ancient times. These offerings are often expensive, luxury items and jewels. [&#8230;]</p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/are-you-an-indian-giver-understanding-gifts-during-marriage/">Are You an Indian Giver: Understanding Gifts During Marriage</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">One of the hallmarks of courtship is gift giving. Like love itself, bestowing presents goes back to the beginning of time. If you look beyond our culture and century, cultures around the world have regarded gift giving as a prominent facet of marriage since ancient times. These offerings are often expensive, luxury items and jewels. Somehow, even needy and middle-of-the-road individuals often come up with the money for this. It&#8217;s important to understand how gifts are classified under the Domestic Relations Law that informs matrimonial law and during a divorce. See, DRL Section 236B: <span
style="text-decoration: underline;"><a
href="https://codes.findlaw.com/ny/domestic-relations-law/dom-sect-236" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://codes.findlaw.com/ny/domestic-relations-law/dom-sect-236</a></span></span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Traditionally, an engagement starts with a diamond ring &#8211; a high-end asset. If the marriage never takes place, by law, the ring reverts to the giver. If the marriage takes place, the engagement ring belongs to the recipient, even if the marital disintegration starts immediately. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Any other gift given during the time of engagement doesn&#8217;t have the concept of necessary reversion like the ring.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">By law, wedding gifts are marital. That means, presumptively, they&#8217;re split </span><i><span
style="font-weight: 400;">equitably</span></i><span
style="font-weight: 400;"> in New York. When we say “equitable,” we don&#8217;t necessarily mean 50/50; different assets are often split in different allocations &#8211; but wedding gifts do tend to be split 50/50 if the parties are choosing to treat it as a marital asset.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">As wedding gifts are typically bestowed to both parties in their newfound celebration, gifts from third parties expressly given to both parties during the marriage are also marital. Here, the express intent of the giver matters. If, for example, the wife’s father or best friend gives her a gift during the marriage, that would be her separate property, but if the father or best friend gives that same gift and says, “Here is for the two of you to enjoy,” the gift would be marital property. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">I have seen situations where parents will put real property in their married child’s exclusive name and gift it. The act of placing the real property in one party’s name is sufficient to demonstrate their intention to gift it to their child as separate property. Conversely, I have seen instances where parents placed real property in both parties’ names (their child and his/her spouse). In these instances, their child cannot meet the burden of proof that the gift was meant exclusively for them at the time of a divorce. They must share that real property with their soon-to-be ex as marital property. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Inheritances are a form of a third-party gift given at a loved one’s demise. These gifts are separate property. So long as the inheriting party keeps it separate, the law honors this as separate property. Even if some commingling of it has occurred, if the inheriting party can trace it to the inheritance, they often get recoupment.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">It is only natural that spouses buy things for each other, and these interspousal gifts are marital property under the law. Think of a husband who buys his wife a necklace for her birthday and a wife who buys her husband a one-of-a-kind watch for their anniversary. Those are both interspousal gifts. Their allocation, upon a divorce, is subject to equitable distribution.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Prenuptial and <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/service/postnuptial-agreements-nyc/">Postnuptial Agreements</a> can elect to opt out of this, and designate all such gifts as separate property. The prenup/postnup can address whose separate property it is. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Different people designate the gifts as separate or marital property based on their individual values and sensibilities. It is common for clients to say that interspousal gifts will be the recipient’s separate property, but you have people who also want to set a dollar limit, for example, they may feel that all gifts under $4,000 will be the recipients but anything over $4,000 will revert to the giver. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Some feel that when a marriage is on the heels of divorce, and one party may have even engaged a divorce attorney, the party trying to salvage the marriage will try re-courting their spouse and lavishing them with expensive gifts to reignite endearment. Their sense of justice tells them that if a divorce happens, that expensive inter-spousal gift should revert to them if they used separate property to buy it, because their spouse was already planning on divorcing them and that last ditch effort should not cause them a greater loss. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">These sorts of nuanced permutations are common. Another example of a permutation would be that all wedding gifts will be one of the party’s separate property, because that party paid for most of the wedding. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Helping clients feel a sense of security through prenuptial and postnuptial agreements is one of my favorite parts of practicing Matrimonial Law. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">If you would like to learn more about how your gifts and assets are classified in a divorce or to draft a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement tailored to your specific priorities, <span
style="text-decoration: underline;"><a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/contact" target="_blank" rel="noopener">contact me</a></span></span><span
style="font-weight: 400;"> to schedule a consultation.</span></p><p><strong>Cheryl Stein, Esq.</strong><br
/>
<strong>The Law and Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein</strong><br
/>
745 Fifth Avenue, Suite 500<br
/>
New York, NY 10151<br
/>
Phone: (646) 884-2324<br
/>
E-mail: <a
href="mailto:Cheryl@CherylSteinEsq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a></p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/are-you-an-indian-giver-understanding-gifts-during-marriage/">Are You an Indian Giver: Understanding Gifts During Marriage</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
</item>
<item><title>How the Mediated Russian Prisoner Exchange Can Inform Divorce Mediation</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/how-the-mediated-russian-prisoner-exchange-can-inform-divorce-mediation/</link>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cheryl Stein]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Mon, 09 Sep 2024 18:40:18 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Collaborative Divorce]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Agreements]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Mediation Process]]></category>
<guid
isPermaLink="false">https://cherylsteinesq.com/?p=2862</guid><description><![CDATA[<p>In the recent prisoner exchange with Russia, German Chancellor Olaf Scholz was critical to the negotiations. The prisoner exchange was taking place behind the scenes for a long period, but timing was crucial for the end result. The Right Person In the hostage deal, the pivotal player was Scholz.  When selecting a mediator, it’s important [&#8230;]</p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/how-the-mediated-russian-prisoner-exchange-can-inform-divorce-mediation/">How the Mediated Russian Prisoner Exchange Can Inform Divorce Mediation</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">In the recent prisoner exchange with Russia, German Chancellor Olaf Scholz was critical to the negotiations. The prisoner exchange was taking place behind the scenes for a long period, but timing was crucial for the end result.</span></p><p><b>The Right Person</b></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">In the hostage deal, the pivotal player was Scholz. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">When selecting a mediator, it’s important to vet them and mindfully choose someone who is the right fit for both parties. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Different mediators have different styles, and different mediators have different levels of authority and ability to get the parties to the finish line. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">When parties select a mediator that is the wrong fit, and the mediation has no traction, they tend to develop fatigue and wariness of the mediation process and jump ship to litigation rather than searching for a better suited mediator. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">That initial mediator selection is critical.</span></p><p><b>Mediation Style</b></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Scholz had his own style that was palatable and effective for both sides. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">There are different mediation styles. One is “looping,” which is repeating what the parties say back to them. Looping can be good for couples that are highly cooperative but may be completely ineffective for more contentious mediations rife with friction and distrust. For those, you likely need a more authoritative style.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;"> </span><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Some mediators will do ex-parte meetings &#8211; meetings between the mediator and one side only. Some mediators will only meet with parties unless both attorneys are present. Some mediators will not agree to have any attorneys present. Some mediators are flexible. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Know your mediator’s style in advance and ensure it resonates with you. </span></p><p><b>Timing</b></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">The prisoner exchange had been in the works for many months, but timing was an important motivator. Scholz’s cooperation felt tenuous to the sides. There was concern that Scholz would no longer be willing to mediate pending the upcoming United States election results. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Timing can be key in mediation. Often, especially in touch and go mediations, a dispute might be on the table for a while without progress. The parties don’t budge from their positions until an external circumstance promotes their agreement. There’s usually a narrow window of time in which the mediation could get done. Ride that wave!</span></p><p><b>The Deal</b></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">The next aspect is the terms of the deal. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">There has been analysis and op-eds of the prisoner exchange deal discussing the justifications for exchanging purported criminals for innocent civilians. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Scholz defended the deal by stating that our overall humanity weighs towards doing whatever necessary to free the innocents, even if it was at the cost of releasing criminals and potentially incentivizing further detentions and hostage situations. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Similarly, a lot of mediations appear asymmetrical, but may still be equitable. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">There&#8217;s a difference between a real power imbalance that we are all keenly on the lookout for in our role as mediators where we “represent neither side yet defend both sides,” and just the fact that both sides have different bottom lines and agendas.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">For example, there might be a situation where a wife agrees to waive her husband’s pension thereby walking away from sizable assets or accepting much less in child support than she could be entitled, because she&#8217;s getting something else in return that&#8217;s more important to her. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">In divorce and in high-profile prisoner swaps alike, our overall humanity, hopefully, wins &#8211; so long as each party preserves what is most important to them.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">For more information, </span><span
style="text-decoration: underline;"><a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/contact/"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">contact us</span></a><span
style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></span></p><p><strong>Cheryl Stein, Esq.</strong><br
/>
<strong>The Law and Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein</strong><br
/>
745 Fifth Avenue, Suite 500<br
/>
New York, NY 10151<br
/>
Phone: (646) 884-2324<br
/>
E-mail: <a
href="mailto:Cheryl@CherylSteinEsq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a></p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/how-the-mediated-russian-prisoner-exchange-can-inform-divorce-mediation/">How the Mediated Russian Prisoner Exchange Can Inform Divorce Mediation</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
</item>
<item><title>Required Reading for Involved Grandparents</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/required-reading-for-involved-grandparents/</link>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cheryl Stein]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Fri, 14 Jun 2024 15:22:28 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Collaborative Divorce]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Agreements]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce and Children]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Finance]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Mediation Process]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Financial Planning]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Adult Children]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Alimony]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Child Support]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Child Support Standards Act]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Financially Support]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Grandchildren]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Imputation]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Maintenance]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Matrimonial Law]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Notice of Guideline Maintenance]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Private School Tuition]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Spousal Support]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Standard of Living Analysis]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Statement of Net Worth]]></category>
<guid
isPermaLink="false">https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/?p=993</guid><description><![CDATA[<p>Recommended reading: &#8220;Well Into Adulthood and Still Getting Money From Their Parents&#8221; Wall Street Journal, January 26th, 2024. In order to help their family thrive, many grandparents financially support their adult children and grandchildren. For example, let&#8217;s think about a couple that lives in Manhattan with an income of $350,000 &#8211; $400,000 a year. In many [&#8230;]</p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/required-reading-for-involved-grandparents/">Required Reading for Involved Grandparents</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Recommended reading: &#8220;</span><span
style="text-decoration: underline;"><a
href="https://www.wsj.com/personal-finance/financial-help-parents-money-ddc2f277#:~:text=The%20young%2Dadult%20allowance&amp;text=Ripoll%20found%20that%2014%25%20of,have%20been%20stable%20for%20years." target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Well Into Adulthood and Still Getting Money From Their Parents</span></a></span><span
style="font-weight: 400;">&#8221; </span><i><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Wall Street Journal</span></i><span
style="font-weight: 400;">, January 26th, 2024.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">In order to help their family thrive, many grandparents financially support their adult children and grandchildren. For example, let&#8217;s think about a couple that lives in Manhattan with an income of $350,000 &#8211; $400,000 a year. In many places, that would be a decent amount of money. If someone&#8217;s living on the Upper West Side, Upper East Side, or SoHo, it’s not nearly enough. In these situations, grandparents often give their children very large sums of money on a routine basis as well as make direct payments towards expenses like the grandchildren’s private school tuition and high-end camp experiences. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">I wrote an article called &#8220;Good Samaritan Divorce,&#8221; which talks about how the Good Samaritan often gets “punished” in some way. For your convenience, you can read the article </span><a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/good-samaritan-divorce/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span
style="font-weight: 400;"><span
style="text-decoration: underline;">here</span>.</span></a></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">What does this have to do with matrimonial law? There are standards and statutes in matrimonial law, and grandparents&#8217; consistent and unwavering financial support can affect the support payments. The general support standards are set forth in “The Child Support Standards Act” and “The Notice of Guideline Maintenance” &#8211; advisory guideline statutes for child support and spousal support (aka maintenance and alimony). </span></p><p><b>The golden rule is maintaining the standard of living.</b></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">At the outset of a divorce case, both sides are required to accurately complete, legally acknowledge, and file with the courts a comprehensive document called a Statement of Net Worth, which sets forth the standard of living. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">The standard of living analysis is the most critical and guiding factor in negotiating support and arriving at a final agreed upon amount. The system wants children’s material lives to remain intact. The system wants the lower income earning spouse to have a window of time when they are getting support from their higher earner ex to give them a cushion and bridge towards being more self-supporting. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">I’ve had many cases where grandparents steadily gave money to their children’s family throughout the marriage to subsidize housing, car payments, parking, vacations, and tuition &#8211; like a weekly or monthly allowance, but for adults.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">If the couple divorces, the idea of imputation comes into play.</span></p><p
style="padding-left: 30px;"><b>Imputation:</b><span
style="font-weight: 400;"> The assignment of a value to something by </span><a
href="https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=476da7e8abe42804&amp;rlz=1C1ONGR_enUS1053US1053&amp;q=inference&amp;si=AKbGX_onJk-q0LQUYzV7-GRhpJ5DngSsmbr9oaq5CDhnM4-TjUtfxcUz_tEhZDZvS-0vkh19gAsap-zZLE7ndQEGhqgrclKtSOSedbOQ8fzBprDmTYd0NMY%3D&amp;expnd=1"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">inference</span></a><span
style="font-weight: 400;"> from the value of the products or processes to which it contributes.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Let&#8217;s say it was the husband&#8217;s father that helped support the family, the wife is going to want to come after that additional money, even though it doesn&#8217;t show in the husband&#8217;s W-2 or tax returns &#8211; that’s the inference.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Some grandparents feel like imputation codifies an agreement that would have happened anyway. Other grandparents react differently and chafe at the idea of being required to do anything. They also don&#8217;t want to be passengers on the roller coaster of their child’s divorce. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">In many instances, grandparents enter into promissory notes with their child for some or all of the funds they give &#8211; thereby making their child their debtor. They are trying to ensure that the monies are legally recorded as debts and not gifts or supplemental income. This is done to shield both the grandparent and their child in the event of a divorce. Both the grandparent and child should, however, consult with a qualified attorney when navigating this strategy. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Understanding imputations and standard of living analyses takes a skilled matrimonial attorney &#8211; and the more experience they have, the better. </span><span
style="text-decoration: underline;"><a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/contact-us.html"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Contact me</span></a></span><span
style="font-weight: 400;"> at The Law &amp; Mediation Office of Cheryl Stein to schedule a consultation.</span></p><p><strong>Cheryl Stein, Esq.</strong><br
/>
<strong>The Law and Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein</strong><br
/>
745 Fifth Avenue, Suite 500<br
/>
New York, NY 10151<br
/>
Phone: (646) 884-2324<br
/>
E-mail: <a
href="mailto:Cheryl@CherylSteinEsq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a></p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/required-reading-for-involved-grandparents/">Required Reading for Involved Grandparents</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
</item>
<item><title>Softening the Blow to Children Amid Divorce</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/softening-the-blow-to-children-amid-divorce/</link>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cheryl Stein]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 15 May 2024 15:20:38 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Collaborative Divorce]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Agreements]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce and Children]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Mediation Process]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Custody Arrangement]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorcing]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Marital Residence]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Nesting]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Parenting Time]]></category>
<guid
isPermaLink="false">https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/?p=984</guid><description><![CDATA[<p>Nesting takes a little finesse on the part of mom and dad, but the kids get to stay put. If divorcing in a chaotic wild west style is on one end of the spectrum and divorcing like you’re having a congenial kumbaya and séance is on the other end of the spectrum, “Nesting” is the kumbaya [&#8230;]</p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/softening-the-blow-to-children-amid-divorce/">Softening the Blow to Children Amid Divorce</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><b>Nesting takes a little finesse on the part of mom and dad, but the kids get </b><b>to stay put.</b></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">If divorcing in a chaotic wild west style is on one end of the spectrum and divorcing like you’re having a congenial kumbaya and séance is on the other end of the spectrum, “Nesting” is the kumbaya séance. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Nesting is a custody arrangement in which each parent is in the marital residence with the children, exclusive of the other parent, during his or her designated parenting time. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">During your parenting time, you&#8217;re with the children in the marital residence and the other parent goes to another residence &#8211; typically a “crash pad” apartment &#8211; close to the marital residence that both parents share in alternating fashion during their “off parenting” time. You then go to that other shared apartment when your ex comes back to the marital residence during his or her designated parenting time. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">By alternating which parent is in the marital residence, the children stay put in the marital residence “nest” they are accustomed to rather than going back and forth between both parent’s homes. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">While many nesting situations are 50/50 parenting time splits, it is fluid, and certainly not all are. Some have other parenting time splits, where one parent is clearly the primary “on parent.” </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Parents who choose nesting tend to be very concerned with the impact their separation will have on their children in what is typically demonstrated in self-sacrificial ways. It’s like they are trying to follow a code of rules towards executing as neat and seamless a separation and divorce as humanly possible, even if it will make them more uncomfortable. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">For example, the shared crash pad is typically a bare bones impersonal space where they are careful not to leave personal belongings that their ex could find, because while sharing it, they are divorcing for a reason after all, and want a semblance of privacy from their ex. Further, they are alternating to shield their children from having to do so, because moving physical spaces often is inherently an uprooted way of living. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Nesting requires a high level of collaboration and cooperation between the parents. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Litigating parties or parties whose only language and discourse is that of hostility are not candidates for a nesting arrangement. I have yet to have a case where one of my litigating clients was nesting. I would be curious if such a case exists and how it was pulled off.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Nesting is very attractive in the beginning to many couples who come to me for mediation and collaborative divorce before they have a firm footing and understanding of what their post-divorce family will look like. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">They want to nest as a transitional bridge for a one to two-year period to “safely” get the family to the other side – the post-divorce splintered family still trying to salvage whatever wholeness they can project to and for the kids.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">It is often an idealistic aspiration. As the parties nest for several months and the separation terms come into clearer focus, the initial enthusiasm for nesting typically starts to fizzle, and most couples end up doing it for a shorter duration than they initially thought they would.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">It is a testament that separation and divorce is a process and for those who have a good enough relationship with their ex to have the luxury to keep an open mind and try things, it can be a fluid process, where both parties mutually decide which avenues “fit” them individually and the kids, as they are going through it.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">To learn more about nesting and whether it is the right decision for you, contact us at The Law &amp; Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein.</span></p><p><strong>Cheryl Stein, Esq.</strong><br
/>
<strong>The Law and Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein</strong><br
/>
745 Fifth Avenue, Suite 500<br
/>
New York, NY 10151<br
/>
Phone: (646) 884-2324<br
/>
E-mail: <a
href="mailto:Cheryl@CherylSteinEsq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a></p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/softening-the-blow-to-children-amid-divorce/">Softening the Blow to Children Amid Divorce</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
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</item>
<item><title>Rumbles Before the Quake</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/rumbles-before-the-quake/</link>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cheryl Stein]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 15 Mar 2023 16:20:35 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce & Personality Disorder]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Mediation Process]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Separation Agreements]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Cougars]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Menopause]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Mental Illness]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Midlife Crisis]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Substance Abuse]]></category>
<guid
isPermaLink="false">https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/?p=897</guid><description><![CDATA[<p>The ground gives off a lot of clues before an earthquake — and so do people. We often hear that someone is “going through a midlife crisis.” It can happen in a way where the person is happy, sad, or in between. A red sports car may be involved, or it may be a new model train [&#8230;]</p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/rumbles-before-the-quake/">Rumbles Before the Quake</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The ground gives off a lot of clues before an earthquake — and so do people.</p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">We often hear that someone is “going through a midlife crisis.” It can happen in a way where the person is happy, sad, or in between. A red sports car may be involved, or it may be a new model train hobby. When the person is married, the crisis ends up spreading out to affect the people around them.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">In most cases, however, there has usually been some sort of shift taking place within that person that set the stage for a midlife crisis. From society’s changing attitudes to cell biology, here are three factors that I frequently see:</span></p><p
style="padding-left: 30px;"><b>•Menopause:</b><span
style="font-weight: 400;"> A classic example is a woman going through menopause. Many women will tell you that they felt absolutely crazy for five years. Their body stops being able to regulate itself, and then, all of a sudden, they start thinking differently and feeling differently about themselves and their whole life. Menopause “survivors” say that they had become a different person through </span>those years.</p><p
style="padding-left: 30px;"><b>•Mental Illness &amp; Substance Abuse:</b><span
style="font-weight: 400;"> It is not uncommon for very high-functioning people to struggle with a chronic mental illness or substance abuse problems. As they approach midlife, something happens that throws them off balance where they are no longer able to control their illness, even within the parameters that have always kept them high functioning. Of course, Covid has been working non-stop to add stress to people’s lives, which may result in relapses when there otherwise might not have been.</span></p><p
style="padding-left: 30px;"><b>“Cougars” &amp; “Hot Dads”: </b><span
style="font-weight: 400;">As society has suddenly begun to admire women and men past the age of 40, the denizens of that age group are taking notice. Men, especially, seem eager to test out the extent of their attractiveness on younger associates at work. Things like personal trainers, plastic surgery, and body contouring become a priority. This effect may also be partially responsible for the rise in divorce among people in their 40s and 50s.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Eventually, for these people, something happens where they are no longer even within the sphere of normalcy. The checks and balances they had made in their lives are no longer working, and they begin to act in ways they never had before. Either they will ask for a divorce, or their spouse will. If you ask their spouses what happened, they will often say that the person who had the midlife crisis was a workaholic with a successful career — and a substance abuse problem.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Thankfully, the 1950s are dead and buried, much like the notion of staying in an unhappy marriage. That said, divorce can still be a long and painful shift, and escaping an abusive home is still fraught with dangerous obstacles.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Contact us for more information.</span></p><p><strong>Cheryl Stein, Esq.</strong><br
/>
<strong>The Law and Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein</strong><br
/>
745 Fifth Avenue, Suite 500<br
/>
New York, NY 10151<br
/>
Phone: (646) 884-2324<br
/>
E-mail: <a
href="mailto:Cheryl@CherylSteinEsq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a></p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/rumbles-before-the-quake/">Rumbles Before the Quake</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
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<item><title>When Your Ex Is Blabbing About You…Ruining Your Reputation</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/when-your-ex-is-blabbing-about-youruining-your-reputation/</link>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cheryl Stein]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Wed, 02 Nov 2022 14:47:50 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Collaborative Divorce]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Mediation Process]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Separation Agreements]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Gossiper]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Marital Relationship]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Mutual Friends]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Negative Character Traits]]></category>
<guid
isPermaLink="false">https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/?p=877</guid><description><![CDATA[<p>The idea of people speaking negatively about us is a huge source of shame for many. We all want to exist in the world thinking that we are well thought of, or at least neutrally thought of. Whether the negative thing is true or not, it&#8217;s obviously really unsettling.  One of the unique aspects of [&#8230;]</p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/when-your-ex-is-blabbing-about-youruining-your-reputation/">When Your Ex Is Blabbing About You…Ruining Your Reputation</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">The idea of people speaking negatively about us is a huge source of shame for many. We all want to exist in the world thinking that we are well thought of, or at least neutrally thought of. Whether the negative thing is true or not, it&#8217;s obviously really unsettling. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">One of the unique aspects of a marital relationship is that each spouse knows things about the other that no one else does. When vulnerabilities that are exposed in the times of greatest intimacy and closeness are used against someone, they may feel a loss of the trust that created the whole reason for marriage.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Unfortunately, divorce is problematic in its own way. It often gets used as a bombshell when talking to neighbors, and this can create feelings of tremendous isolation for the other person. I’ve seen people go to bed one night with a whole network of friends, and wake up blocked by all of them, across multiple platforms. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Sometimes, mutual friends can actually be great facilitators during the process of mediating a divorce, as a sort of in-between. Other times, friends are caught in the middle and used as sounding boards to air out the negative feelings of whichever spouse they are with at the moment. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">One thing that few people realize is that when your ex bad-mouths you, they often reveal their own negative character traits instead of yours. Within the work environment, the gossiper is the one that is most at risk, because nobody really wants to hear that often sensationalized, quasi-true, shameful anecdote about their co-worker’s ex, especially if they are a substantive person themselves; it makes us cringe. Moreover, at work, superiors start to think their blabbermouth divorcing underling is using time and energy they should be channeling into their job to conduct glorified group therapy sessions, and consequently, they start scrutinizing their job performance more. I often say, &#8220;Chances are it&#8217;s more negatively impacting your spouse that they&#8217;re blabbing about you than it&#8217;s affecting you.&#8221;</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">That said, people are often still blocked from their regular friends and support systems. Across the board, I have seen people experience trouble functioning in the midst of a mass ghosting led by their soon-to-be ex-spouse. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Ultimately, the larger world is full of people who do have an element of common sense. If they feel they know you, and have a decent rapport with you, most people will be able to navigate the gossip. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">In my next post, I’ll talk about the measures you can take, like confidentiality and NDA clauses, to protect yourself in an agreement.</span></p><p><strong>Cheryl Stein, Esq.</strong><br
/>
<strong>The Law and Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein</strong><br
/>
745 Fifth Avenue, Suite 500<br
/>
New York, NY 10151<br
/>
Phone: (646) 884-2324<br
/>
E-mail: <a
href="mailto:Cheryl@CherylSteinEsq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a></p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/when-your-ex-is-blabbing-about-youruining-your-reputation/">When Your Ex Is Blabbing About You…Ruining Your Reputation</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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<item><title>When Filing For Divorce Triggers a Reconciliation: Changing Your Mind About Divorce</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/when-filing-for-divorce-triggers-a-reconciliation-changing-your-mind-about-divorce/</link>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cheryl Stein]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Sun, 09 Oct 2022 15:05:48 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Mediation Process]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Separation Agreements]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Deciding to divorce]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Agreement]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Filing For Divorce]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Maritial Assets]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Reconciliation]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Spouse]]></category>
<guid
isPermaLink="false">https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/?p=867</guid><description><![CDATA[<p>When clients come to me in the beginning, they often do not know the state of their marriage. On a number of occasions, this has led to both parties signing an executed divorce agreement and, after I’ve filed it, call me to withdraw the papers and to stop the action before the judge signs it.  [&#8230;]</p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/when-filing-for-divorce-triggers-a-reconciliation-changing-your-mind-about-divorce/">When Filing For Divorce Triggers a Reconciliation: Changing Your Mind About Divorce</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span
style="font-weight: 400; color: #000000;">When clients come to me in the beginning, they often do not know the state of their marriage. On a number of occasions, this has led to both parties signing an executed divorce agreement and, after I’ve filed it, call me to withdraw the papers and to stop the action before the judge signs it. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400; color: #000000;">There’s nothing new about people changing their minds at the last minute. In fact, one of the perennial questions I field is something to the effect of, “How often do you see clients who choose to stay together?” I think this is an important topic because sometimes people really want to try to see if — maybe — they could stay together. The internal idealist in some holds out hope despite all odds; for others, it’s their inner pragmatist.  </span></p><p
style="padding-left: 30px;"><span
style="color: #000000;">•Many times, the spouse who initiated the divorce gets cold feet. Instead of serving papers, they opt to work on the marriage. </span></p><p
style="padding-left: 30px;"><span
style="font-weight: 400; color: #000000;">•Sometimes the reconciliation happens after a frank assessment of the marital assets reveals that one (or neither) party would be in a good position after divorce and the parties are driven by practicality to stay together. </span></p><p
style="padding-left: 30px;"><span
style="font-weight: 400; color: #000000;">•The couple might really pride themselves on being good parents and doing the best they can for their children. They think that being divorced would be terrible for the kids, so they just “stick it out.”</span></p><p
style="padding-left: 30px;"><span
style="font-weight: 400; color: #000000;">•Some people identify with the saying, “Better the enemy you know than the enemy you don&#8217;t know.” Home life might not be ideal, but they’ve carved out semi-independent lives under the marriage that make staying together less stressful than a divorce.  </span></p><p
style="padding-left: 30px;"><span
style="font-weight: 400; color: #000000;">•Sometimes people get intimidated by the dating scene and become afraid that they&#8217;ll never find somebody new. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400; color: #000000;">Every now and again, there&#8217;s a situation where parties are able to work through these situations and actually end up with a better marriage. More often than that, however, I end up getting a call in two or three years to finalize the divorce we previously discussed. I think it’s a healthy thing to do, because divorce is a journey for each person. When they come back the second time, they are unequivocally one thousand percent sure they want to proceed, and in that respect, they are completely at peace with it. </span></p><p><strong>Cheryl Stein, Esq.</strong><br
/>
<strong>The Law and Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein</strong><br
/>
745 Fifth Avenue, Suite 500<br
/>
New York, NY 10151<br
/>
Phone: (646) 884-2324<br
/>
E-mail: <a
href="mailto:Cheryl@CherylSteinEsq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a></p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/when-filing-for-divorce-triggers-a-reconciliation-changing-your-mind-about-divorce/">When Filing For Divorce Triggers a Reconciliation: Changing Your Mind About Divorce</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
</item>
<item><title>It Ain’t Over ‘Til the Fat Lady Sings</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/it-aint-over-til-the-fat-lady-sings/</link>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cheryl Stein]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Thu, 12 May 2022 21:49:55 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce and Children]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Finance]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Mediation Process]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Separation Agreements]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Agreement]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Legal Battles]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Spousal Support]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Unemancipated Children]]></category>
<guid
isPermaLink="false">https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/?p=851</guid><description><![CDATA[<p>A basic tenet of “fight or flight” is that when people are in an extreme state of anxiety, they&#8217;ll do nearly anything to relieve that immediate pressure and discomfort to get themselves to a more bearable state. This describes what divorced people go through quite well. People crave resolution and a path forward. There&#8217;s this [&#8230;]</p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/it-aint-over-til-the-fat-lady-sings/">It Ain’t Over ‘Til the Fat Lady Sings</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">A basic tenet of “fight or flight” is that when people are in an extreme state of anxiety, they&#8217;ll do nearly anything to relieve that immediate pressure and discomfort to get themselves to a more bearable state. This describes what divorced people go through quite well. People crave resolution and a path forward. There&#8217;s this hope that when you finally enter an agreement, everyone will be able to breathe a sigh of relief</span></p><p
style="text-align: justify;"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">I don’t relish being a party pooper, but I always remind clients, “It&#8217;s not over ‘til the fat lady sings!” </span></p><p
style="text-align: justify;"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">What does this mean in the context of divorce? It means that, if you have unemancipated children, you will likely be revisiting parts of your divorce agreement time and again as they grow older and unanticipated events occur, one of you wants to relocate, one of you loses a job and needs to modify child support and for a plethora of other reasons. Many divorced parents end up going back to court until their children are emancipated — and possibly afterwards if there are child support arrears. </span></p><p
style="text-align: justify;"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Sometimes, the divorce agreement is just the beginning of the legal battles. Unfortunately, this can be true even for prescient, well thought out and meticulously drafted agreements, but obviously in the latter instances, there is less exposure, so having a really solid tight-knit initial agreement in place, which leaves room for less loopholes, is key, albeit not bulletproof.  </span></p><p
style="text-align: justify;"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Maintenance and spousal support are modifiable. Even if someone waives spousal support in their agreement, there is case law in which — 10 years after the agreement — one party was going to be a ward of the state and sued for maintenance. The judge ruled that maintenance had to be paid, which sounds perturbing and off-base, but the court will first look at the ex-spouse rather than let the other person be a ward of the state. Even if you try to waive support, or negotiate a certain amount, that is all modifiable. Notably, maintenance is harder to modify than child support, which has a much lower bar for modification, and includes the classic 3 bases: passage of 3 years; 15% increase or decrease in either party’s income; and a substantial change in circumstances. </span></p><p
style="text-align: justify;"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">The permissibility of modification for custody holds true as well. You can have one party awarded custody because the other party was a total disaster at the time of divorce. The parent unfit at the time of the divorce can always come back later and say, &#8220;I rehabilitated myself. I need to be the joint custodial parent now&#8221; and proceed to demonstrate substantial changes in circumstances since the initial agreement and judgment of divorce were signed off on to prove their point and elevate their custodial standing.   </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">These requests to change custody agreements and modify child support and maintenance are very common and the post-judgment part in court is more backed up than the parts that handle the initial divorces. </span></p><p
style="text-align: justify;"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">The same occurs with challenges and attempts to overturn prenuptial and <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/service/postnuptial-agreements-nyc/">postnuptial agreements</a>. People often state that their prenup or postnup was signed under duress or coercion, or perhaps they didn&#8217;t have an attorney look at it and didn’t understand what they were signing. It is critical that attorneys who represent clients in these agreements strategize and have the necessary foresight to prevent such an eventual catastrophe to their client. </span></p><p
style="text-align: justify;"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Life circumstances change. People change their minds. Whatever reasons that they come up with, valid or invalid, people often want to get out of deals — and there’s nothing unusual about that.</span></p><p
style="text-align: justify;"><span
style="font-weight: 400;">To learn more about your specific circumstances, please contact us at <a
href="mailto:cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a>.</span></p><p
style="text-align: justify;"><strong>Cheryl Stein, Esq.</strong><br
/>
<strong>The Law and Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein</strong><br
/>
745 Fifth Avenue, Suite 500<br
/>
New York, NY 10151<br
/>
Phone: (646) 884-2324<br
/>
E-mail: <a
href="mailto:Cheryl@CherylSteinEsq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a></p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/it-aint-over-til-the-fat-lady-sings/">It Ain’t Over ‘Til the Fat Lady Sings</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
</item>
<item><title>Divorcing an Addict</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/divorcing-an-addict/</link>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cheryl Stein]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Fri, 11 Mar 2022 01:05:50 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce & Personality Disorder]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce and Children]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Finance]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Mediation Process]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Separation Agreements]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Addiction]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Addicts]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Assets]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Bipolar Disorder]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Equitable Distribution Relief Package]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Gambling Addiction]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Marriage and Addiction]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Mental Illness Issues]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Post-Nuptial Agreement]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Separation]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Spouse]]></category>
<guid
isPermaLink="false">https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/?p=843</guid><description><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;ve had many situations where one party is an addict and the other party has to deal with the repercussions or where both parties are addicts but one is more functional. In several cases, the parties actually met at AA. I’ve represented the addict spouse, the non-addict spouse, and neutrally mediated many cases involving addiction. [&#8230;]</p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/divorcing-an-addict/">Divorcing an Addict</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;ve had many situations where one party is an addict and the other party has to deal with the repercussions or where both parties are addicts but one is more functional. In several cases, the parties actually met at AA. I’ve represented the addict spouse, the non-addict spouse, and neutrally mediated many cases involving addiction.</p><p>Studies show that addicts don&#8217;t necessarily get better — instead it’s about containing or channeling the addiction. Oftentimes, for a multitude of reasons, the partners of addicts are willing to cut the other party some slack because they don&#8217;t want to throw in the towel on the marriage. Sometimes, a post-nuptial agreement is done instead of a separation or divorce, sometimes nothing is done.</p><p>When thinking of addiction, most people conjure images of alcohol, drugs, and smoking, but there are so many other forms of addiction that can have deleterious effects on relationships and marriage, like sex addiction, gambling, video games and screen time, and engaging in dangerous and high-risk sports and behavior to test one’s edge and get their adrenaline pumping towards making them feel more alive, or on the flip side, to numb themselves from feeling anything.</p><p>I have a case in which a woman was married to someone who is a sex addict. He spent the down payment for a new house on his addiction. Because they have three young children, the wife took a wait-and-see attitude. For his part, the husband went to a rehab facility and found 12-step meetings to attend afterward. Unfortunately, as time went on, it became clear that his addiction was a factor once more. While it did not affect his career, he was not able to juggle his addiction and his marriage. I represented the wife in the divorce getting her 75% of the parties’ assets in an equitable distribution relief package to compensate her for the money the husband dissipated on prostitutes, escorts, and his porn addiction.</p><p>Another common situation I&#8217;ve come across is when there is a combination of addiction and rather acute mental illness, such as bipolar disorder. This is especially relevant when there are changes to medication used to treat mental health issues, or the person simply stops taking their prescribed medications. These situations can change overnight, and often cause people to want an immediate divorce in order to protect the children, in addition to protecting assets, and their own mental health and sense of safety.</p><p>Gambling addiction is also widespread. A client’s husband recently revealed to her that he has $150,000 in gambling debt and a co-debt with someone else for over $50,000. She is obviously very concerned about her assets, which primarily consist of the marital home. One option for this couple would be a post-nuptial agreement, putting everything in the non-addict spouse’s name.</p><p>Within more religious and tight-knit communities, I’ve seen many miserably unhappily married people choose to stay married to an addict solely because they fear stigma. Often, they have children and are afraid that others will think the addiction is inherited. If people live in a community where addiction is a highly stigmatized black marker, they don&#8217;t want people to know, so they choose to “stick it out” in their marriage — a very loveless marriage for the sake of maintaining a facade.</p><p>Feel free to contact me if any of this resonates and you or your spouse struggle with an addiction.</p><p><strong>Cheryl Stein, Esq.</strong><br
/>
<strong>The Law and Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein</strong><br
/>
745 Fifth Avenue, Suite 500<br
/>
New York, NY 10151<br
/>
Phone: (646) 884-2324<br
/>
E-mail: <a
href="mailto:Cheryl@CherylSteinEsq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a></p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/divorcing-an-addict/">Divorcing an Addict</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
</item>
<item><title>Empowerment Is the Best Deal</title><link>https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/empowerment-is-the-best-deal/</link>
<dc:creator><![CDATA[Cheryl Stein]]></dc:creator>
<pubDate>Fri, 05 Nov 2021 14:46:01 +0000</pubDate>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Finance]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Mediation Process]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Affair]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce Papers]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Divorce-Decree Fraud]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Employment Law Attorney]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Me Too]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Sexual Harassment]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Unmarried Client]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Workplace]]></category>
<category><![CDATA[Workplace Relationships]]></category>
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isPermaLink="false">https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/?p=821</guid><description><![CDATA[<p>In our last post, we discussed the fallout that happens when a husband is accused of sexual harassment in the workplace. I had another interesting situation where my unmarried client was having an affair — for 15 years — with a married man from work without knowing he was married because he hid it well [&#8230;]</p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/empowerment-is-the-best-deal/">Empowerment Is the Best Deal</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span
style="font-weight: 400;"><a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/me-too-divorces-a-case-study/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">In our last post</a>, we discussed the fallout that happens when a husband is accused of sexual harassment in the workplace. I had another interesting situation where my unmarried client was having an affair — for 15 years — with a married man from work without knowing he was married because he hid it well while living a double life. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">He represented himself to be single from the get-go and the work romance got serious. He even presented fabricated divorce papers to my client to prove his alleged divorce. My client, blissfully ignorant to divorce-decree fraud, believed him. She admits to noticing red flags along the way, but she ignored them because of the “divorce papers” she saw. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">The 15-year lie came to an end when my client discovered this man’s deception and immediately broke off the affair. She was worried because she enjoyed a very high position in her company and was unsure whether her supervisors would want to know or would prefer to stay in the dark about the unethical behavior within their matrix. However, she also didn’t want this to happen to anyone else. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">My client had read about this exact scenario and none of the stories ended well. She had to go through the expense of hiring an employment law attorney to make sure that she was protected once she came out about the affair and deception to her employer. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">The man was also in a very leading position within the company. There were younger women under his watch, who were less sophisticated than my client, and she wanted to make sure he didn’t victimize them. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">This story is important because events at the workplace, like sexual harassment, have ramifications in the setting of divorce. If the perpetrator is fired, the equation for child and spousal support will be impacted. That’s why it’s important to contact an attorney as soon as you sense a “Me, Too” situation developing in your marriage. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Speaking up early will allow you the time to divorce accordingly and to make sure you get the best deal for yourself. This speaks to the perpetrator’s wife — once she learned about her husband’s indiscretions and double life, she needed to lawyer-up. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">There was a whole web of attorneys involved to represent both women — my client who was having the affair and the perpetrator’s wife, including matrimonial, employment, ethics, and social media attorneys, to contain the damage. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">The two women got to know each other, felt a connection in being blind-sided and duped by the same person, and worked to mutually help each other. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">It is often disheartening to the spouses of perpetrators that they fell in love with someone like that. They start to see themselves as victims as well and join in on the “Me, Too” chorus. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">My client worked hard to help herself and the perpetrator’s wife out of the unseemly situation, and in so doing, she also protected other potential “Me, Too” victims.</span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">That’s why there&#8217;s an empowering and strengthening stage that I do with my clients as we lay the groundwork and advance their case. Inner peace and enlightenment aside, getting a good deal is the ultimate source of empowerment. </span></p><p><span
style="font-weight: 400;">Feel free to contact me with any questions. </span><span
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</span></p><p><strong>Cheryl Stein, Esq.</strong><br
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<strong>The Law and Mediation Offices of Cheryl Stein</strong><br
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745 Fifth Avenue, Suite 500<br
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New York, NY 10151<br
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Phone: (646) 884-2324<br
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E-mail: <a
href="mailto:Cheryl@CherylSteinEsq.com">cheryl@cherylsteinesq.com</a></p><p>The post <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com/blog/empowerment-is-the-best-deal/">Empowerment Is the Best Deal</a> appeared first on <a
href="https://cherylsteinesq.com">Cheryl Stein, Esq.</a>.</p>
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