Both parties must agree to participate. There is no real fear of domestic violence.

You can speak for yourself and listen to the views of your spouse.

You don’t want to entrust decisions regarding your children or property to a judge.

Both parties must agree to participate. There is no real fear of domestic violence.

You prefer to have an attorney with you, but don’t wish to incur the emotional and financial costs of court.

You don’t want to entrust decisions regarding your children or property to a judge.

The other side refuses to cooperate participate. There is a real fear of domestic violence.

You believe that your spouse will be dishonest in a non adversarial process.

You don’t mind if a judge decides what to do with your children and property.

Neutral. Gives information but not advice. Helps spouses address contentious issues. Allows each spouse to “be heard” in a safe setting.

Not required, but may be consulted or present to review the final agreement.

Advises client. Advocates for client. Acts as a “team” with the other lawyer to resolve contentious issues and to reach agreement. Is non-adversarial with other spouse. Communicates directly with other spouse during 4-way meetings.

Advises client. Advocates for client. Adversarial with other lawyer and spouse. Does not communicate with other spouse.

All financial information voluntarily disclosed.

All financial information voluntarily disclosed.

Parties are mandated by court order to exchange financial information.

Series of 3-way sessions between the mediator and the two parties. Attorneys may be present.

Meetings between attorney and client. Four-way meetings among parties and their attorneys.

Meetings between attorney and client.Court appearances, including (if needed) motions, depositions, and trial.

Least expensive. Hourly fees for sessions, no retainer.Flat fee for drafting agreement.If expert fees apply, parties often agree to use neutral experts.

Less expensive than litigation. Hourly fees with initial retainer. If experts are required, parties often agree to use neutral experts. Fees include meetings, correspondence, and drafting of agreement.

Hourly fees with initial retainer. Court filing fees. Each party often uses and pays own expert. Fees include meeting, correspondence, drafting of documents and motions, and court appearances. An additional retainer is often needed if a trial is necessary.